If you watched Oprah’s interview of Harry and Meghan earlier this month, you might have felt like you were let in on a big secret. I definitely felt my own share of shock and outrage at some of the statements made, but the interview confirmed two things we’ve shared with you before - and want to say again.
1. You never really know what’s going on inside someone else’s home or marriage.
For the millions who watched the royal wedding, it looked like they had it all. Beautiful, independent American marries aristocratic heartthrob. It appeared then - and still does now - that their love was real. But even real love, and good marriages, have their share of hard times. Of drama and hardship. Of complicated families. And maybe, as Meghan bravely admitted, of really dark and frightening thoughts.
No marriage is perfect. We know this in our heads, but it’s so important that we know it in our hearts too.
At DIGC, we often hear from our community how lonely they felt during their marriage struggle and divorce. We also hear how much worse the situation was made by thinking everyone else has it better. One thing we know for sure: comparison will only leave you feeling worse. So, do yourself a favor - try to stop comparing your marriage – or divorce – to other people. You never know what’s really going on behind closed doors. If your goal is to improve your relationship… mark my words, the situation will be made much worse when you’re striving for something unattainable, in yourself or your partner.
Instead of comparing, try to recognize that your relationship is unique, with ups and downs, and trials and tribulations that are all yours. Most of us are just doing the best we can. And if your relationship already ended… remembering that no one’s is perfect - not even a fairy tale couple’s - may help a little.
2. Mental health issues are real, and there’s no shame in asking for help.
Meghan said that life as a royal made her feel suicidal. She had a lot of fear about admitting this to anyone, especially the royal family. We talk a lot at DIGC about the importance of therapy – and of course you don’t need to have suicidal thoughts to benefit from the help of a good professional. As a matter of fact, giving ourselves regular time and thoughtful space to focus on ourselves is one of the kindest and healthiest things we can do. Are you taking care of yourself, friend? Please, please do.
If you are having thoughts of suicide, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline in the United States at 1-800-273-8255 (TALK).