We at DIGC hope with all our hearts that you are staying safe and healthy. But beyond your physical strength, we want you to stay mentally strong and positive too. And not just to “stay,” but to actually grow.
There can be unexpected opportunities within the chaos. As crazy as it sounds, divorce + covid-19 just might = massive growth for you, my friend.
In times of uncertainty like this, it can be hard to find your mental grit. You might be like “grit…what grit?!?” Maybe you were already living in a place of I. Can’t. Take. One. More. Thing. If that’s you, then lean on us.
We’re not here to tell you not to feel concerned (we are), or to have moments of overwhelm (we do), or that you can’t lock your bedroom door and binge watch the first 3 episodes of Little Fires Everywhere (we did!!)
So in this crazy, unprecedented time, we’re offering you 3 really constructive, positive things you can do, right now. Whether you’re in the midst of your divorce or past it.
1. Get super f-king healthy.
Yep, as in, wherever you are physically, you now have a unique ability to up your game. You’re probably at home, which means you have access to your own refrigerator all day long, and aren’t reliant on drive-thru or your office cafeteria. So fill it with the foods your beautiful body needs. Good foods nourish not only your body but your emotional well-being, which is so important right now.
You also don’t have to spend all that time in the car shuttling kids and going to work. We see that as a minimum of 30 minutes freed up for daily exercise, or at the very least some good stretching. Many studios are offering free or trial periods of streaming yoga, Pilates, HIIT workouts, you name it. I use Peloton, which has great running, cycling, cardio, yoga and meditation sessions. Or Youtube offers some great free videos, like Yoga with Adriene.
Wondering how and where to do that? You might have to get creative. I work out in my walk-in closet at 6 a.m. And it’s my most cherished time of the day.
2. Organize the heck out of your divorce-related files!
You know how you’re always saying you’re going to get your papers in order, but don’t? Guess what, now’s your chance! Even if you’re suddenly home-schooling or working from home, there are slower times in all our days right now. (As evidenced by the number of working moms we know posting videos of themselves having day-time dance parties with their kids).
Block off time to organize your files - whether they’re your current divorce files, financial records, or a pile of emails with your ex you want to store in case you need them later. It might not feel like you have the time, but you’ll be absolutely amazed at what just 30 minutes a day for a week will do. And when your papers are in order, your mind can be, too.
3. Make a goals list.
If you’re currently in the process, this might be your divorce wish list - all the things you’d like to walk away with if you could have anything you want. When you’re busy with case meetings and court appearances, it’s hard to find the focus to think of all the details that might really make a difference to your future. Use this time to do that. Then when you get back to negotiating, you’ll be ready and organized. (Make sure you check out “Who Gets the Sky Miles” for 3 important assets you don’t want to miss).
If you’re post-divorce, take a moment to think about what your goals are for your future. What do you want your life to look like in 6 months or 6 years? This week I spent an hour writing down what I want my life to look like 10 years from now. Then the 10 things that will get me there. (Yes, if you’re a Rachel Hollis fan, I’m talking about her Start Today journal). If I was busy racing back and forth between the office and the carpool line, this wouldn’t have happened.
It’s so easy to get anxious right now. You’re not alone. Just remember, one day (one hour… one minute!) at a time. We’ll leave you with this quote which we think is especially apt for women going through divorce:
"Embrace uncertainty. Some of the most beautiful chapters in your life won’t have a title until much later. - Bob Goff