Our D-Squad tells all – and some answers may surprise you.
Don’t settle thinking about today. Settle thinking about 20 years from now. 20 years from now you won’t be sad or emotional, you’ll be pissed you didn’t get what you truly deserved.
Always take the high road…it has less traffic and a better view.
Think of this as a chapter of your life. There’ll be many chapters after. And just because this chapter ended, it doesn't mean that good didn’t come from it.
It may seem impossible, but focus on the big picture - not on one item like a piece of silver, a car, or even the house.
Use separate experts for individual issues: seek legal advice from your lawyer; go to a financial planner for finances; if you need a counselor, go to a therapist. Friends aren’t always the best because they really can’t be 100% objective. There are lots of experts, each with their own specialty, so make use of each.
Stand up for yourself. Enough said.
Prepare before you start! Take your time getting everything in order and make sure you ask for/request everything. Also, your child might be young now, but look ahead and consider what you might need for him or her in the future (camp, braces, college, car, insurance…).
No matter how tempting it might be – or how justified – never, ever speak negatively about your ex to your kids. In the heat of a frustrating moment, take a deep breath. Count to 10 and reset. Then vent to your girlfriend or therapist!
Don't take the bait.
Expect the best, but be prepared for the worst. Your attorney will sort out the toughest stuff, but you won’t be able to avoid it all. Some of it you’ll just have to take on the chin. Be a tough cookie, you will survive this.
Stay mad. As silly as this sounds, it proved to be quite effective for me. Little to nothing was accomplished when I was moping. Nothing spurs determination like reasonable anger.
Never confuse niceness with weakness.
Know that it's ok to end a marriage. Period. I always thought divorce was a terrible thing that people did if they couldn't get their sh-t together, or were weak or unfaithful. But that's not true. I learned what’s most important is to live a happy life - without ongoing fear or sadness.